Terrified
by IceKitty
Summary: To be completely honest, she was terrified of the thought of him being in love with her. [xNamikux]
1. Terrified

STFU, there are no other stories I should be working on! LIES!

…Just had burst of Namiku inspiration. Probably because I spent most of the day reading it. Blargh. SILENCE! I just felt like writing something short and angsty. DX

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, any characters therein, or Evanescence. Because if I did, there'd be a lot more fluff.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

**Terrified**

**Namine **_x _Riku

**Nam**_i_ku

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

To be somewhat honest, she was absolutely _infatuated _with the idea of him being in love with her.

Every girl had their own little fantasy, their own little fairy tale they wished could come true. Their knight in shining armor would come and save them, and they'd ride off into the sunset – together, happily ever after. Or maybe even the other way around. But that was usually how fairy tales went; two people, a perfect relationship, a happy ending, and a lifetime of happy moments together. Needless to say, the very idea was intriguing; captivating, even. She'd never had a happy ending of her own. But then, that was how it was; the princess lived happily ever after with her handsome prince, and the witch was left in the dust; alone, unloved, and possibly even dead. After that occurred to her, she decided she didn't want a fairy tale life.

Nevertheless, a knight in shining armor sounded pretty good. So did a happy ending – especially the part about never having to be alone again. Well, she'd found a knight – shining armor not included. She could do without that. Actually, she thought he looked fine without armor, shining or not. Still, the tricky bit was getting said knight to go along with the 'happy ending'. It seemed that the story had started long ago, but Namine was still waiting for the hard part to end.

She'd spent quite some time around him; that is to say, in his presence. They didn't have the chance to talk as much as she would have liked. He was usually lurking around the mansion somewhere. She spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be in love; or rather, for him to love her. She wasn't sure if she wondered because she felt something for him, or because she just wanted someone to care. It didn't really matter; she hadn't acted on any of her thoughts.

Still….

She wondered what his hair felt like. It was gorgeous; it had a shine she could never quite duplicate with her drawings. Every time she tried it just ended in frustration and strengthening of the curiosity behind the attempted mimicry. She'd watched him let it grow longer, and she had to say – or think, rather - it only made it more distracting.

Not to mention his eyes. They were gorgeous, and another thing she could never, ever copy. She could never get the color quite right… but there was also something more. She couldn't give her drawing the life that he had. She couldn't put in that look of one who has seen much too much and suffered because of it. She couldn't make her sketches reflect that same emotion.

And before long, she found herself wishing that he would look at her like he looked at Kairi. She wondered often what it would feel like for someone to care about her, to love her like she was the only girl that ever existed. Or didn't. It didn't matter; she just wanted someone to _care_. But what she didn't know was something only she should have been able to figure out; did it have to be him?

Would she be just as content if it were someone else? Sora? Roxas? Any other boy? Despite the fact that she should have been able to answer that in a heartbeat, she couldn't.

To be completely honest, she was _terrified_ of the thought of him being in love with her.

Part of her desperately wanted to be loved, but she wanted to be loved for _her_, not because she was part of Kairi. Truth be told, she was terrified at the very thought, the very _notion_ that he could possibly have feelings for her. Because if he loved her, there was no chance that it could be because she was Namine. It would, of course, be because she looked like Kairi. Because _Kairi_ was something special, because _Kairi _was his friend, because _Kairi_ was beautiful, so much more so than that plain little girl in the corner could ever be. Because _Kairi _was interesting, because _Kairi_ was so full of the life that Namine lacked.

And as she thought this, she realized she would never find the answers to her curious ponderings. No, he would never love her for her. If he ever looked at her warmly, showed even a scrap of care, it would be because of Kairi. If he were to ever deign to look upon her with loving eyes, it would be because she was a fragment of the person he really cared for. If he were to come close, hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, it would be because he wanted to be near Kairi.

And that _terrified_ Namine.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_And if I bleed,_

_I'll bleed,_

_Knowing you don't care._

_And if I sleep_

_Just to dream of you,_

_I'll wake without you there._

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something...?_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

OKAY people. Tell me if you want me to keep going with this. C'ya later lovies.

P.S. Lyrics at the end are from'Missing' by Evanescence… which I was listening to when I wrote this.


	2. Whisper

Hey hey lovies, BRING ON THE ANGST! XD A lot of you said you wanted me to keep going, so continue I will. I was already plotting anyway. Thanks for the support.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

**Terrified**

**Chapter 2**

**Namine **_x _Riku

**Nam**_i_ku

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"_Now, for the finishing touches. First, we must dispose of Namine. She did a splendid job with Sora, but it's high time she disappeared. Roxas isn't the only one who was never meant to exist. Take care of it, Ansem."_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Namine sighed. Again. It was… nostalgic? Depressing? She wasn't sure which. She was sitting in the White Room at the front of the mansion, thinking. Just that morning she'd finished up Sora's memories. After spending so much time either in that room or in the pod room, it was odd to think that she would probably never see them again. She wasn't sure where she was going to go…. Probably back to Kairi. Maybe that way Riku would like her, or rather… Kairi. Namine would just be able to see him look at her the way she'd always wanted to be looked at. Maybe?

She stood and walked slowly around the room, taking a good look at each picture on the wall. She'd drawn every one of them, but it seemed like that was lifetimes ago.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Catch me as I fall  
Say you're here and it's all over now  
Speaking to the atmosphere  
No one's here and I fall into myself  
This truth drives me  
Into madness  
I know I can stop the pain  
If I will it all away_

_If I will it all away_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"…Namine." She turned sharply at the sound of the voice.

"…Oh! Hello Riku." She couldn't help but smile, yet it was a weak smile; the as yet unnamed feeling she had been and still was experiencing in regards to leaving that place refused to allow her a moment's peace. The hooded man in front of her paused. He seemed… indecisive?

"…."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Don't turn away…_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"…Riku!" Namine backed up, feeling her back hit the wall. Why did he summon his keyblade? She didn't like the looks of this….

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Don't try to hide…_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

"…I'm sorry." She gasped as he pulled his arm back. His fighting stance…. She knew now what was happening. She was useless to them now; she was to be disposed of. She shut her eyes tightly as he lunged forwards.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Don't close your eyes…_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Namine opened her eyes slowly. The very end of the Way to the Dawn was poised right at her heart – or rather, where it would have been. She could practically feel it. Her gaze traveled over the weapon that was meant to cease her non-existence. It was shaking. In fact, so was the hand that held it. And his arm….

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Don't turn out the light…_

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Namine's gaze traveled up to his face, mostly concealed in the darkness of the hood. Still, she could see the bottom half of his face. His mouth was twisted into a grimace of sorts. And his skin… no, that couldn't have been right. It seemed paler than it had been for some time now…. The Way to Dawn disappeared from his hand and he straightened up. He let out a long, slow breath that he had been holding since the moment he attacked her. He stared down at the ground for a moment before looking at her. The grimace only grew tenser. He turned and practically ran out of the room.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

_Why?_

"Why what?"

_Why spare the girl?_

"…."

…

"…She never did anything wrong."

…_I could have done it. You could have let me do it._

"…."

…_I could still do it._

"…No."

…_There's something more to this, isn't there?_

"Of course not."

_You replied much too quickly for me to believe that._

"..."

…_**I** see…._

"See what? There's nothing to see."

_You **feel **something for the witch, don't you?_

"…Don't call her that. And I do not."

_I live inside your head. Do you **honestly** believe you can hide things from me?_

"…."

_You can't. You're smart enough to know that._

"…."

_You **care** for her…_

"…."

_You actually **like **that little witch. I'd even go so far as to say you have a **crush** on her…_

"…."

_Oh? Or do you **love **her?_

"…."

_Your silence says it all. Well, don't get too attached. You know her fate._

"…That doesn't mean I have to go along with it."

_Hah. And what are you going to do, Riku?_

"…Leave me alone, Ansem."

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

OMFG RIKU'S SCHITZO! DDDDD:

…Lol not really. Okay then, I've still got some more ideas for this one, if you guys want me to keep going. Let me know!

Oh yes, and the lyrics are from 'Whisper' by Evanescence; the thing I was listening to when I wrote this. XD


End file.
